Same Sex Attraction, Confidence Issues, Weight Loss and other Freaking Hard Things!

It is personal

on April 14, 2015

I don’t mean for that title to sound too ominous but it is something I have been feeling of late. The past couple of months have been a tornado of emotion and experiences to put it mildly. I have been having a rough go of it and I believe Satan is really amping up his game and making it a much more personal level of attacks that I have otherwise experienced in my life until now. We had an adult family retreat with my siblings and parents a couple weeks back. My dad said something that really stayed with me. During one of our spiritual discussion he told us that we should be taking Satans attacks on our lives very personally. I thought about it and decided that I agreed with my father. It is very personal.

Satan knows us, he is our brother and we were with him in Heaven before he was driven out by our Father for apostasy. And because he is miserable he desires that we would all be miserable with him and thus has taken it upon himself to attack all his brothers and sisters in an effort to lead us away from our Heavenly parents. He hates us more than I can comprehend because we have the ability to change our state of being and rise to a greater level of living, whereas he does not. Satan will never be more than what he is now and what he has been since his creation. 

I have never really given it a lot of thought that Satan might be seeking to destroy me on a personal level. Yeah I know that he has his minions and throws temptations and what not our way, but I had never considered that he is coming after ME. It makes sense though if you think about it. The things that have continued to confuse and tempt me are so completely tailor made to my situation, to my person, that it can be taken no other way but personally. Satan wants to make me suffer, to make me like him and to turn me from the light and truth that my Father in Heaven offers me. And I now believe that he has created a blueprint of the things that he will throw at me to try and lead me away from the light. And you know what…it makes me angry. Angry and determined to not let that happen. It makes me angry and sad to know that someone hates me so much that they would want to destroy me. But I cannot begin to understand Satan because I have love in my life. I give love and I recieve love and it is love that saves us all if we let it. I am striving to ultimately exemplify the love of Christ in my life and to help others come to Him. I don’t want to be as I was or as I am now. I know God loves me because I have the opportunity for eternal increase. But just like Satan has a plan, my Heavenly Fathers has a better one. A PERFECT PLAN. I don’t understand all of it but that’s okay. I am still learning and still growing and that’s enough for now. 


2 responses to “It is personal

  1. Lacey says:

    I think I’m going to use some of this insight for my talk on Sunday. Very powerful stuff. It makes me so mad all the time that Satan knows me and is trying to break me and my family. It is personal. And it makes me so mad. I love your blog!!!­čśŐ

    • Kim says:

      Thanks Lacey! It’s nice to get some feedback. I loved writing this one. It helped me feel determined to not quite and to show Satan that I am better than him. And that God is above all and has my loyalty completely.

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